Former spouses who co-parent will not always agree when it comes to discipline. One parent may claim the other is too strict, while the other may claim that they are just providing structure to the child’s life. But where does healthy discipline end and emotional abuse begin?
Courts in Arkansas take this issue very seriously because what one parent calls discipline could, in fact, be emotional abuse. As the other parent, you need to be alert when recognizing the red flags to protect your child.
At what point does discipline become abuse?
Reasonable discipline is a parent’s right. But when discipline starts becoming abuse, the courts will step in to prioritize the child’s rights. Here are some warning signs you need to watch out for:
- Verbal attacks: Insults, name-calling or shaming a child in front of other people.
- Isolation as punishment: Cutting a child off from friends or family as a form of control.
- Unrealistic expectations: Overreacting to normal mistakes that children make and demanding perfection.
- Manipulation or threats: Using fear to control a child’s behavior.
It is so easy to overlook abuse when the child is not in your care, which is why you should keep an open communication with them, so they can alert you if something is wrong. Judges consider all forms of neglect or abuse as grounds for flipping custody or changing the terms to include supervised visitation only.
What to do if you suspect abuse
Abuse is not always obvious, especially if it is new behavior on your former spouse’s part. But if you believe your co-parent is crossing the line, start keeping records of the behavior. Bring your child to a pediatrician or a child psychologist for a professional evaluation. If your doctor identifies concrete signs of abuse, file a petition to modify the custody agreement right away. Work with a family law attorney if you are unsure about the process.
Protect your child
Do not let strict parenting escalate. Remove your child from the situation and gather all the evidence you need to present in court. If your former partner cannot protect your child, it is up to you to do so.